Roadkill. It's What's for Dinner

The other night my brother and his friends brought home a deer. It was a pretty little thing and I asked who had shot it. Their answer? They had gotten it on the side of the road.

If you have read my other blogs, you are, at this point, probably wondering what kind of a monster my brother must be. I mean, killing a deer is bad enough, right? And then he also apparently brags about it with his friends? Slaying a raccoon for the sake of some chickens is sort of valiant...I guess... But picking up roadkill? You're probably thinking he crossed a line there.

Allow me to defend him, though. First, the boys didn't just show up and chuck a random deer in their truck. They had seen the animal suffering in the ditch after it was hit and went to its aid, saving it from pain. Then, to avoid other accidents with rodents who came to "clean up" the animal remains, they removed the potential hazard from the road.

Where I come from, it's not a big deal though. Quite frankly, I can't see what the problem is. Piece of free meat? Sure, why not. Of course we take measures to clean and decontaminate the meat, and of course we make sure the animal has died of the impact and not of illness, but honestly, talk about a Black Friday deal! It's a free hundred pounds of meat to the lucky winner. 

Of course, generalizations are merely that: generalizations.  This should be taken with a grain of salt, as I recognize that this is not a universal fact.  It represents my family and my small town experience, but I could never claim to understand all the regions of our country and their traditions. Nor could I even claim that every member of my town would eat something killed by a car, because I have definitely met those that would hesitate. However, if I could make a stab at something that most rural Southerners would be at peace with, this would be my guess.

Size Does Matter

Boy One:  "Y'all hear about my seven pointer? Got him last night."

Boy Two:  "Boy, that ain't nothing. I got an eight last week with a 25 inch spread."

Boy One:  "How much did it weigh?"

Boy Two:  "Had to be dang near a buck fifty."

Translation please?

This is a conversation that my brother and his buddies have just about every waking moment from late autumn through mid-winter. And it probably sounds closer to Greek than English for a person who lives outside of the South.  

What they are talking about is deer hunting, and talk about it they do: all the time. A point is a projecting piece of the deer's antlers that is at least an inch long. The spread is the distance between the two main beams of the antlers (from the inside edges). As for a deer weighing a "buck fifty," I honestly have no idea where that saying comes from, but it just means a hundred and fifty pounds. The wider the spread, the higher the points, and the heavier the buck, the older and more dominant the buck is assumed to be.

So, hunters sit for hours upon hours in the woods, braving the winter elements, for just the chance at bringing down a buck. Even though I was raised in the south, I still have trouble understanding the logic of this. Sure, the meat tastes good, but the time investment way outweighs the results in my opinion. However, from what I can collect from my brother's conversations, the size of the buck a man kills is directly proportionate to his own measure of manliness. You see, the bigger the buck is, the more manly the buck. Therefore, the more manly the buck you kill, the more of a man you are. 

Follow?

Even though rural areas don’t have a ton of public entertainment avenues, the absence of mindless time-wasters is arguably is one of its best qualities.  The other day I was talking to a friend who condescendingly told me that she would never live any further than 10 minutes from “civilization”- referring to movie theaters, restaurants, and shopping malls. These types of people that I lovingly refer to as “city slickers,” who think there is nothing to do in the country, have no idea of the culture that they miss out on. You see, because there are no theaters or bowling alleys within 30 minutes of our house, we are forced to have parties.

  Instead of leaving their houses to have fun, country folks bring the fun to their houses. Ever wonder why Southerners generally have better manners than Northerners? They socially interact with each other, meet new people, and have fun with their old friends, all without public entertainment.  Public entertainment can suck away our precious time if we are not careful.  For instance, it’s difficult to get to know someone while sitting in a theater where talking is prohibited.

The general agreement is that life moves faster in cities than in the country. I’d say this is because people in cities have grown accustomed to constant entertainment; something always has to be going on, and people flurry from one source of entertainment to another. In the country, value is placed on spending time with people and face to face interaction.

This Saturday, as my friend heads to the movies to hole up in a dark room to stare at a screen for two hours, I’ll be hanging out with a bunch of my friends and their families in someone’s backyard, enjoying the fall weather. This weekend, it’s an apple cider-making party. Last weekend, there was a bonfire. People will always like to have fun, so anywhere there are people, there will be ways to have fun. While there is nothing wrong with the city way of life, the country is unique because of the way the people use what they have and enjoy each other. This is one of the reasons it is such an awesome place.

The Stars and Bars

   A major cause of controversy among Americans is the continued displaying of the confederate flag in Southern states.  The flag is seen on cars, outside of homes and on t-shirts. The General Lee from the famous show "The Dukes of Hazard" features a huge flag painted on the top of the car. Why, over 150 years after the Civil War, do Southerners still feel the need to fly the Stars and Bars?  I would argue that the reason that Southerns still display the flag is often misunderstood.  It is not a show of continued rebellion or encouragement of slavery, but rather a signal of pride in the ideals of the old South. Of course, there are exceptions and unfortunately, sometimes the flag is flown in racism. However, this is not the norm.  

    Again, so much of the South is misunderstood, including its ideals.  More times than not, students in grade schools are taught that the South seceded from the Union as a result of wanting to keep their slaves.  This is horribly incorrect however, and this unfortunate idea harbors hate of Southerners from others in America.  If you happen to be one of these people who believe the Civil War was caused by slavery, take heart. You're not alone. However, you are wrong. 

    While slavery was in fact a major issue at the time, some had already accepted the idea that slavery was on its way out. The Southern states were more concerned that the federal government was absorbing more power than was within its constitutional bounds. These people loved freedom. They represented an ideal that America was founded on- the rights of states outweighing the federal government's rights. They succeeded from the American government, but they never lost the American ideal of freedom. 

   So if you see a Confederate flag flying, instead of seeing it as a symbol of never-ending hate against African-Americans, see it as a representation of freedom. While I can absolutely understand why many say "the war is over already" and we should just "put the past behind us," the American belief in freedom should never be left behind, and that is what the flag represents. There will always be wars on freedom and if the Revolutionary and Civil Wars should be forgotten, the American ideal of freedom will be forgotten as well. 

The Meat-Eating South

    This past weekend bow season began in Virginia. How it works is bow season comes in almost a whole month before muzzle-loader or regular firearms season comes in. I'm pretty sure people (including my brother, the hunter in my family) practice year round with the bow just so they can get a jump start on killing deer. But that's another story. The start of hunting season just has made me think about how essential meats are in a Southern diet.     The examples are obvious. My teacher, Miss Marconi, (Excuse me, Mrs. Williamson) blogged about "chicken fried chicken" that her Southern chef of a husband enjoys making. Venison jerky and "drunk and dirty"  venison tenderloin are staples in my house.  My uncle owns a pork business. Fried chicken clogs many an artery on Sunday afternoons.  The word "barbecue" means more than a cookout here; it is actually what we eat at the cookout. The list is endless.     However, I believe that meats are popular for a reason: competition leads to improved products. It's the iron law of free enterprise. While the competitions that Southern chefs engage in are quite ridiculous,  delicious meals are definitely made of them.  

    Cooking, grilling and sauteing bragging rights are valued more than children. 
    "You got a deer? Mine's more tender." 
    "My pork ribs fall off the bone easier than yours."
    "Step back son, while I show your uncle how to grill a steak."
    "This is my secret sauce that'll kick ya in the teeth."
    These are all commonly used phrases in Southern kitchens. While this kind of competition may split families, I sure won't be complaining at the dinner table this weekend.

Breaking Trucks and Taking Names

This past weekend I missed what could possibly be the most fun event in the state of Virginia for country people.  The annual Field Day of the Past in Goochland is an event that has all the entertainment and fun of a carnival and all the historical and educational value of a museum.  It’s basically a weekend long county fair that brings in around 35,000 visitors over three days.  From engine shows and equestrian competitions to carnival rides and tractor pulls, this place does it all. The most exciting part is undoubtedly the last event of Friday and Saturday night: the truck pulls. 

     

         Truck pulls are basically exactly what they sound like: trucks pulling things. The idea is that country boys with souped-up trucks come from all over to compete to see whose truck can pull the most weight before their truck stops moving, breaks, or crosses the finish line.

  

       The truck is chained to a “sled” (pictured on right) that has one set of wheels on one end and a sled on the other.  There is an enormous weight over the wheels (this is shaped like a box in the picture).  As the truck travels, the weight slides closer to the sled end, creating more and more friction against the ground.  Eventually, the truck will not be able to pull any farther.  Whether that’s because the engine just can’t keep up or because your several thousand dollar axles bent into scrap metal is irrelevant.  Whichever truck makes it the farthest, wins. 

            

      People pour their money into their trucks like crazy, but hey, everyone needs a hobby, right? Is this a stupid motocross sport?  Yes.  Is it fun to watch and exciting?  When you have a couple thousand rednecks surrounding you, who are all really excited for it. 

   

      Next year, you better believe I’ll be right there with them.  The most fun event in Virginia isn’t made fun because you’re surrounded by awesome people doing something smart.  It’s the most fun event in Virginia because you’re surrounded by awesome people doing something stupid! 

RCTech. Image. 9/23/13.http://www.rctech.net/forum/attachments/monster-trucks/373792d1222380816-tractor-pulling-truck-sled-4-sale-p9160034.jpg

Cumberland County Cooperative Fair Association. "What is Truck Pulling?". 9/23/13.  http://www.cumberlandcofair.com/truckpull.html

Field Day of the Past. 9/23/13. http://www.fielddayofthepast.net/id1.html

Protecting His Flock

My brother shot his first gun at the ripe old age of four.  He had been taught how to load, aim, and fire though since he could hold a cap gun.  His favorite movies starred John Wayne and to this day he has never truly liked a movie that has any less than 2 explosions.  He has grown up surrounded by guns.

The other night, I was startled awake when I heard my brother pounding up the stairs hollering “Get my gun!” Now naturally, this made me wake up pretty quickly. Jumping out of bed and throwing open the door I frantically asked him what was wrong as he rushed past me and into his own room.  In my head I’m thinking: robber? Murderer? Good gosh, we’re going down.  

“There’s a ‘coon in the chicken pen!” he yelled back down the hall excitedly. I heard the rapid click click click as he dropped bullets into his .22 rifle. “He’s already killed one of them!” Raccoons were the most dangerous predator to our cooped chickens, since they are clever and can find almost any available way to enter a coop.

I was expecting him to rush back down the stairs, but instead he held his gun with two hands, and swiftly, yet purposefully and firmly walked down. I followed him, because I was already awake and besides, if he missed, I wasn’t going to let him hear the end of it. It was my duty as his sister.  I watched my dad shine a light or “spotlight” the raccoon, which almost immediately became entranced, and stared back at the light. Lakey, having gotten outside, abruptly stopped, raised his gun, and fired.  

I then watched my brother calmly walk over to the raccoon, and remove it from the chicken pen.  There was no more fuss, no more shouts, no rushing. Lakey had done his duty, protecting his helpless, penned chickens, and now all was well.

One thing I most love about the country is the sense of security that it brings. If my brother would so valiantly protect a flock of chickens- chickens- how much more would he and my dad protect our own family in a time of need? My brother had taken out a small rodent (the average weighs between 12 and 20 pounds) from across the lawn that was surrounded by his chickens. He didn’t hit any of his chickens, and in fact, hit the raccoon squarely in the head.  He could much more easily take out a bigger, more dangerous target! He got incredibly defensive over stupid animals, and I know how much more courageously he and the other guys in my family would defend us.  It sure helped me sleep easier after I got back to bed that night.

“Raccoon-Chicken Predators- How to Protect Your Chickens From Coons.” 9/12/13. http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/raccoon-chicken-predators-how-to-protect-your-chickens-from-coons

Cooper, Diana. “Interesting Raccoon Facts.” 9/12/13. http://www.brighthub.com/environment/science-environmental/articles/48196.aspx